15 The bouncer, Język angielski, Extra English, transcripts,

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Episode 15

 

Narrative

 

HECTOR

Ohh, ohhh!

 

ANNIE

Hector, stop being such a baby.

 

HECTOR

But it hurts!

 

ANNIE

I haven't touched you yet.

 

HECTOR

Ohhh.

 

ANNIE

Now stay still.

You will just feel a little needle prick.

 

HECTOR

Oh, go on then.

Hurt me, do it!

 

ANNIE

Hector!

 

HECTOR

Ohhhhh.

 

ANNIE

Hector!

 

HECTOR

Ohhhhh!

 

ANNIE

I've done it.

 

HECTOR

Huh?

 

ANNIE

I've removed the splinter.

 

HECTOR

Huh? Oh, er, yes, I knew that. I was joking.

 

ANNIE

What is it, are you scared of needles?

 

 

HECTOR

Who, me? Don't be silly. But it was a very painful splinter.

 

ANNIE

OK, so if you're not scared of needles, would you have a tattoo?

 

HECTOR

A tattoo?!

Yes, yes, I would.

 

ANNIE

Go on then, tough guy.

 

HECTOR

OK, I'll have one if you have one.

 

ANNIE

OK. OK, it's a deal.

Oh, by the way, Hector...

 

HECTOR

Hmm?

 

ANNIE

I had this done this morning.

But then, a deal is a deal, isn't it?

 

Sound of door slamming

 

NICK

I - want a word with you.

 

ANNIE

Tough guy, eh?

 

HECTOR

Yeah. What do you want?

 

NICK

I - don't. I don't. I... keep forgetting this bit: I - don't - like - your - face.

 

ANNIE

OK, so is this for television or theatre?

 

NICK

Nope.

This is real. This is me.

 

ANNIE

And you are...?

 

NICK

Can't you guess?

Guys, you are looking at Muscles.

 

HECTOR

Where?

 

NICK

No, no, no. It's my new name. I am the new man on the door at Ice.

 

 

ANNIE

What, you're a bouncer?

 

HECTOR

What is a bouncer?

 

ANNIE

It's someone who throws people out of night-clubs.

 

NICK

Uh-uh-uh. I am an entry executive.

 

ANNIE

So you throw people out of the club.

 

NICK

Yeah.

 

ANNIE

Yeah.

Nick, my granny could beat you up.

 

NICK

Ah!

But if your granny came to Ice and caused trouble, I would have to ask her to leave.

Besides, I'd have Knuckles, Cruncher and Muncher to back me up.

 

HECTOR

Who?

 

NICK

The other bouncers.

 

HECTOR

Yeah, right.

 

Sound of door slamming

 

NICK

Hi, sweetie.

 

BRIDGET

Has someone died?

 

NICK

No, not yet.

 

BRIDGET

Why are you dressed in black then?

 

NICK

Because, baby, you are looking at the new man on the door at Ice.

 

BRIDGET

You are on the door at Ice?

 

NICK

Uh-huh.

 

BRIDGET

But that's.., but that's wonderful news! What shall I wear? I'll call the girls to find out what they're wearing.

NICK

The thing is, Bridget, if your name's not on the guest list, then you can't come in.

 

BRIDGET

Nick, if my name's not on the guest list, then you can't come home.

 

Sound of mobile phone ringing

 

NICK

Hello? Oh! Hi!

Yup, that's right. I start on Friday. OK, baby! No probs. Leave it with me. Ciao! [Sound of sniggering/Nick clears throat]

My mum. She wants me to do some gardening for her.

 

NICK [Composing email]

Dan, guess what?! I've got a new job!

I'm a bouncer at Ice!

Oh, this club is very trendy, very exclusive!

 

NICK

I am the new man on the door at Ice!

 

NICK [Composing email]

Hey! When the girls see me on the door they won’t want to go in!

 

BRIDGET [Composing email]

Nick has got a job as a bouncer at Ice.

 

NICK

I - don't - like - your - face.

 

BRIDGET [Composing email]

If he doesn't get me on the guest list, he is in big trouble!

 

NICK

If your name's not on the guest list, then you can't come in.

 

Sound of puffing and panting

 

ANNIE

Hector, I just won... What are you doing?

 

HECTOR

Oh, just looking for a number.

 

ANNIE

Oh, I see.

Well, I just wondered if you wanted to share my chocolate with me before Bridget sees it.

 

HECTOR

Oh yeah! Great! Thanks.

Annie?

 

ANNIE

Huh?

 

HECTOR

Did I tell you about the time three people tried to fight me?

 

ANNIE

All at once?

 

 

HECTOR

Yup.

 

ANNIE

Really?

 

HECTOR

Uh-huh.

 

ANNIE

Oh, well, go on.

 

HECTOR

Well, three of them, they came at me...

 

ANNIE

Oh, you poor thing! And what did they want?

 

HECTOR

My sweets.

 

ANNIE

Oh. And how old were you?

 

HECTOR

Six.

 

ANNIE

And they were...?

 

HECTOR

Five, three and two.

 

ANNIE

Hector! Two years old! They were babies!

 

HECTOR

Yeah, but the Sanchez sisters were really tough!

 

ANNIE

Oh, Hector, you are sweet.

 

HECTOR

Annie.

 

ANNIE

Hmm?

 

HECTOR

Do you think I should be more macho?

 

ANNIE

Oh, Hector. You don't have to be a tough guy for me.

I love you just the way you are.

 

HECTOR

Oh, Annie.

 

ANNIE

Come on, let's eat this chocolate before Bridget finds it.

 

 

HECTOR

Oh, please, let me.

 

ANNIE

Oh. Oh! Ooh, you're so strong! Oh!

 

HECTOR

Ow!

 

ANNIE

What is it?

 

HECTOR

You are standing on my foot.

 

ANNIE

Wimp.

 

Sound of door shutting

HECTOR

Ah, hi, Nick.

 

NICK

Oh, hi. Hey, listen to this. "Bouncer of the month is Alex Smith who last year stopped 955 people from going into his club."

 

HECTOR

What is the name of the club?

 

NICK

Er, it doesn't say.

It shut down last week.

Not enough people were going there.

 

HECTOR

Nick.

 

NICK

Huh?

 

HECTOR

What is a wimp?

 

NICK

Huh! Well, it's not... Ha-ah-ah …

 

HECTOR

Annie just called me a wimp.

 

NICK

Yeah.

 

HECTOR

I want to be a tough guy, like you.

 

NICK

Huh?

 

HECTOR

Can you teach me? Please?

 

 

NICK

Of course. I was born like this, but I can try to help you, Hector, I can try.

 

HECTOR

Great. Why don't you show me how to be a bouncer.

 

NICK

At - it - tude.

 

HECTOR

At - it - tude?

 

NICK

Yeah, like this. "Are you looking at me?"

 

HECTOR

"Are you looking at me?"

 

NICK

"Are you looking at me?"

 

HECTOR

"Are you looking at me?"

 

NICK

Hey, great!

 

HECTOR

So who am I looking at when I say that?

 

NICK

Anyone who is looking for trouble.

 

HECTOR

Aha!

And how do I know they are looking for trouble?

 

NICK

You just know.

Look.

 

HECTOR

What is this?

 

NICK

Bridget's old toys!

 

HECTOR

What are they doing under your bed then?

 

NICK

I was looking after them for her.

Anyway, look, here, this is the club. "You - cannot - come in." "Let me in!" "Are you looking at me or chewing a brick, eh? 'Cause either way, you'll lose your teeth."

 

HECTOR

Huh?

 

...

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